5 Reasons To Consider Mediation In Divorce

Jude walked into the room. He hardly noticed the daintiness of the furniture and or heard the silent hum of the air conditioner. All he saw was Heather and the flood of hatred washed over him again, quite like the waves that washed over the sand at the beach two days ago when he was there with Shalewa only that this was all-consuming.

His mind temporarily shifted to Shalewa and the fact that he had thrust upon her the responsibility of being a mum to his kids with Heather. Never again would Heather see those kids. He had a plan.

The divorce papers had been served on him and it had infuriated him that she was going at it by that route. How dare her!! ‘Can man not tire?’, he thought as he took his seat at the mediation place.

The mediator was a slightly bulky bespectacled lady. She looked good for her years. She sat shoulder straight up and looked confident of herself. He was assured by her mien and her composure that she would be professional.

They had signed the confidentiality papers and he was told to feel free to speak as his mind truly felt. He chuckled to himself…he had denied having a relationship with Shalewa in court and was not ready to admit so now.

He would not allow himself to be damnified in damages and had begged Shalewa to hold on to the contraceptives for a short while more. Pregnancy was not what was needed at this time of divorce war.

Jude was rich, very rich. He was tall and almost broad. He exuded the presence of a man you take with you to the war front. He had confidence, presence and could exude sourness from his mouth if the need arose.

The Heather he knew was a verbal abuser, but beyond that, she scrapped to look after herself financially. She has lost three jobs in the last four years and was currently out of work. Her brother, he heard, was the person who sustained her since their marriage broke three years before.

She had sued for divorce on the grounds that he was committing adultery with Shalewa and had joined the poor lady in the suit.

The discussions progressed and Heather accused him of all and everything. She wanted custody of the children and money for their maintenance. What she did not reckon with what the evidence that Jude had on her. The attempts at mediation failed. They both walked out of the room without signing any settlement agreement.


Mediation is a form of dispute resolution that is an alternative to going to court. It is a confidential process and the things discussed there may not be allowed to be given as evidence before the court.

This is to allow people to feel free to air views and to aid in arriving at a settlement that will work for both parties. It is believed that a settlement agreement is respected a lot more than a forced court order.

Mediation in divorce is always better than getting a court order. Why you ask?

  1. Mediation retains the sanctity of your memories. You can’t change what you have become but mediation keeps those memories respected.
  2. Mediation saves the washing of your dirty linen in public. A judge doesn’t care about your shared history.
  3. It gives freedom of the parties to go and continue their affair without malice.
  4. You both drive the process and not the lawyers or the judge. As long as your agreement is legal a judge is compelled to enter it as a judgement.
  5. Lawyers’ fees automatically must reduce because you have won the war without the battle.

Mediation is fast gaining ground in all types of conflicts and is worthy of full embrace.  Have you considered the effect a full-fledged war would have on your children and their future understanding of what married life is? The less the conflict the better they can accept that the divorce may be the better way to go forward in life.

Sisilawyer is a certified mediator and is willing to mediate in your matters. Why not book a mediation session here?


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