Sometimes there isn’t a daddy that is coming home. He either doesn’t exist because the mum doesn’t know him, she was raped, or he is dead.  Life happens and rape isn’t the end of life. Not many people prepare for death and so leave the care to the surviving spouse or partner.

There are many considerations that should be uppermost on the minds of parents who find themselves in these situations? Until they get married again or indeed for the first time, solo parenting of your children is a responsibility that doesn’t have a best before date.


You need to ensure that you have adequate finances to look after the family. You are a solo parent and there is no court that will make an order compelling a deceased spouse or a rapist to make contributions. If it is a rape, he is probably in prison, and if he isn’t, you may wish to consider if you want your child to have any relationship with him. The law is not clear if the father can claim the custody of a child in these circumstances. I wouldn’t think they can.

Ask For Help 

Make sure that you keep a job or run your business well. Ask for help from other mothers or your family, when you need someone to take their care off you for a few hours. Don’t play super mother.

Telling them

When the parent is deceased, there is no difficulty letting the children know the reason why funds are low. However in a situation where the child is a product of rape, it is good to let the child know why his father cannot come into the house. There isn’t an easy way but you need to let the child understand that regardless of the circumstances of his birth, he is still loved by you.

Start to accept that if the father is still alive, your child may ask to be introduced later in life. Start to prepare yourself for that bombshell. He is entitled to want to know his other parent.

Death Preparation  

Since death never gives a date, it is important that you not only start to build a fortune to pass on to the kids, in the event that you die, but you need to secure it by the making a will, or creating a trust to hold all you have. Ensure that your life insurance is properly and validly in place, and that it is a product that your children can cash easily.

It is not a bad idea to create a trust as soon as possible to transfer all property owned by you into, not only because you may die but also because you may become ill and unable to work. Well-meaning family members are unable to look after your matters the way you would, and if you fall ill or die, before you children become adults, your property make fall into unscrupulous hands. Plan your estate.

Solo or single parenting is not an easy time but it could become a evry rewarding time. Some ladies are opting for single parenting and the stigma is nt as strong as hitherto. Single parents do a fantastic job, often in difficult circumstances. They ought to be celebrated.

Have you read

I am Sisi Lawyer. I trouble shoot legal issues in troubled relationships of the heart. Drop me a comment here or send me an email to I love to hear from you




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